Tonight I grew up a little

For some reason, I've never been able to play for strangers unless it is a paid gig. I've never played at an open mic before, because it scared me so much. It meant that I thought that my music had enough worth that I could share it with people not for their enjoyment per ce, but as an exibihition of who I am. I didn't play my own songs, that would have been too scary for the first time. I played Angel Band with Leah, then I am not at War, which everybody loved, and some girl yelled out "Who was that last one by?" and I said, with so much pride, I could have burst..."My sister." And she said, "aw, honey, that was great" and I said "I love her" and I meant it sincerely because I can't mean to be funny when I'm that nervous, but they all laughed anyway. And then I played "When I Was a Boy." I made Benjamin and Leah promise me that they would tell me if I was off-tune, and they said I wasn't and maybe they were telling the truth. I think I sounded like Joan Baez though, because my voice was shaking so bad. I feel shaky still, but I feel good, like I've gotten over a hill, like the next time it will be easier.

I have great friends here. Tonight, my dorm threw me a surprise birthday party. They all pitched in and bought me a life-size stand-up cardboard thing of Viggo. I've never been so thrilled in all my life. They blindfolded me and stuck him in front of me. It was amazing. Then I went to contradancing which was sooooo much fun and really really hard. I danced for three songs and then I played with the band for the rest. I learned so much in just a few hours. I learned how to play jigs, reels, and waltzes. Reanna, Leah, and I all played tonight and it was so great. I can't even put to words what it felt like.

That's all for now. I'm off to bed to have happy dreams.