Love is a Tanglewood Tree

Hmmm. Before I forget about it....I had two very disturbing dreams last night. I dreamed that I was back home for a holiday and Mama and Daddy were in the final stages of a divorce, but I didn't understand it because they were acting completely normal, and yet I knew that they didn't love eachother anymore. In my dream I cried and cried, just completely heartbroken, and Leah was there telling me that I should be happy for them, but I told her that she didn't understand. And I cried more, and I kicked and screamed and threw things but no one would listen and no one would talk to me. And as I cried for my parents I realized, in the dream, that I was actually crying for Anna because I would never see her again. And then I woke up. It was about 4 am. Then I had another dream in the early morning which came from this really violent movie I saw yesterday called Leon which was about the mob in NY. It was a game, and there were two sides and we were fighting eachother...really fighting. We lined up, and everyone had guns and knives, and then I realized that I didn't have a knife, and I was captured by this boy I knew, and I begged him to let me get my gun to make things fair, and he said "no way, not after the way you treated my people. I will show no mercy." So then I asked if I could go to the bathroom, because I remembered that there was a butcher knife in the bathroom. He lets me into the bathroom, but it really isn't a bathroom just a toilet and he watches me, and somehow I sneak the knife into my hand, and then I stand up and stab him. And in my dream, I could feel the knife in him. And I was so scared because he started laughing and said, ooo that doesn't hurt, and so I stabbed him again, and he fell. And I started crying because I had killed someone, but then I stopped crying because I wasn't sad that he was dead, but I knew I would have time to be ashamed later. But I kept thinking about it as people got killed left and right around me, and the dream ended with me alone in a room with two of the enemy around the corner, and I knew that I was going to die because they had guns and all I had was a knife. And then the dream ended with me thinking that I had a mouse in my hair. Or maybe there really was a mouse in my hair, but I think it was just my fan, blowing my hair around.

Speaking of the mouse, I'm sorry, but he's gonna have to go. I think part of my nightmare was fighting with my conscience over deciding to take action against that mouse. But I am firm in my resolve. I cannot cohabit with mice. I'm going to get some no-see traps at the hardware store on Wed. What if someone wanted to kill me, just because I was small and dirty and hungry and scuttly? Then again what if someone wanted to kill me just because I tasted good?