Imposter

I just finished up my self-inflicted crash course in 16th and 17th century British History. I now know the succession of kings and queens, the difference between the Long and Rump parliament, and the definition of rough wooing. So why is it that I still feel as if someone (either them or me) has made a horrible mistake?

Maybe it is just a language barrier thing. I have to learn the language and the cultural norms. I feel like an anthropologist, observing the natives. Many of the guys wear coats and/or ties to class and everyone looks very well put together. Many people here are too smart for their own good, and get so wrapped up in what they are talking about that they don't realize that they've lost the rest of us. Or those people who speak so quickly trying to keep up with their own brains. I'm a slow talker (I'm Southern, what can I say?) and I appreciate slow talkers. I've heard many a word that I don't know, many of the academicky, made-up words that I'm not sure the people saying them know what mean.

Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the challenge and meeting many sensible, fairly un-pretentious people, but it is another world. I met another Bardian who said the transition can be rough. Even at the highest levels of classes at Bard, there was always humor and the fear of taking oneself too seriously. There have been several moments where I have wanted to laugh outloud at the absurdity of some people in my classes, but I quickly realize that no one else finds it funny, so I stifle a grin and watch for others doing the same. Those are the people I want to know better.