The Silence After the Storm

I finished my Middle East paper last night at about two a.m. and had a massive headache going to bed, which I woke up with this morning. And mypaper is too long, and too scatterbrained, and just not terribly good. After every claim I made I said to myself (outloud): "Maura , you can't just say stuff like that." Or maybe it wouldn't have been so bad had i concluded it well, but after twelve pages I had exhausted any idea that I might have had and so I ended with a short rant on how unfair and contrary it was that Egypt didn't make it like Turkey did when they had the national unification that Turkey didn't. And Iran, I couldn't say much of anything there except to say that Iran was fighting a losing battle from day one and so it came as no surprise that it was bought and bullied and ignored after WWI. I don't know. I did use the phrase "the forceps of the West" so if the entire paper is ludicrous shit, then at least it will be written well. But I feel bad turning it in because I've spent every spare minute for an entire week working on it, outlining, making charts, taking notes, and what if I turn it in and she reads and says "Ah, this is one of those horrible night before it's due essay."
And the film paper, I don't even want to think about it. That was a three hour paper and it shows. But I don't care about that one. I may have mentioned it once or twice before but I HATE THAT CLASS! If I can just keep my B- I will be satisfied, especially if I can keep the As in the other ones. Pruitt doesn't have a clue and is just content to spit on me during the lectures. If you can't say FILM or CINEMA without spitting, then why the hell do you become a film history lecturerer. It's like that poor slam poet with the lisp. I mean, where were their career advisors?
At least Nerina knows my name. Hey Nerina even likes me. Whenever we are comparing Islamic fundamentalism and crazy rituals to Christian fundamentalism and crazy rituals, she says, "Where's Maura?" And I'm not arrogant, or at least not outright.
Just thought of a funny moment when I was in Montmartre and I went into a little cafe and asked for a box of water.