I'm swimming in debt because of this? If only I had read this article before I went to the ER.
"Ulcers are areas of weakness or "depressions" that develop in the wall of the stomach or intestines, causing pain or discomfort. In a few cases they can bleed, tear open, or cause a blockage due to inflammation. Symptoms can include mild to moderate pain when the stomach is empty or after eating spicy or acidic foods, and sometimes severe localized abdominal pain (sometimes mistaken for appendicitis or ovarian cysts).
If the ulcer is in the first part of the intestines, then it is called a Duodenal Ulcer. There are over half a million new cases diagnosed each year and up to 4 million people have a flare up of the disease each year. About 1 out of every 15 people will at some time in life have an ulcer. Ulcers are found in the intestines 5 times as often as they are in the stomach. Duodenal Ulcers usually occur in younger people. It is still not clear what role stress plays in the development of ulcers, although approximately 2 out of 3 patients treated for Duodenal Ulcers report high levels of anxiety or stress upon the onset. Alcohol and diet are not felt to play a very important role in the formation of ulcers. Some ulcers are caused by an organism called Helicobacter pylori, some are due to medications, and a few are caused by intestinal cancer. Therefore, treatment and long-term outcome depends on the cause of the ulcer."
There. Mystery diagnosis solved. I diagnosed myself. That will be $4000 dollars please, made out to Dr. Capps. No, you can't do a payment plan.
In other health news, by royal decree, all women should start using the Diva Cup. If I was blond and obnoxious, I would do an infomercial right now. 10 times less messy than anything else and best of all, you can cross off TSS from your "Man, that is scary as shit" list. And, you do save money. I haven't bought a tampon in 2.5 years!!! (Just thought I'd do a little product placement...maybe they'll send me a check)
See this woman.
She loves her Diva Cup. In fact, she's thinking about buying two more and making a nice pair of earrings. She's also on crack.
